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The Woodman
New Member
United Kingdom
98 Posts |
 Posted - 01 November 2006 : 19:49:56
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As there's virtually no chat about scrollsaws here does anyone know any good jokes ?
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The Woodman
New Member
United Kingdom
98 Posts |
Posted - 03 November 2006 : 20:17:26
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| Who said Gill is a busybody ? |
Edited by - The Woodman on 28 July 2008 21:08:40 |
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Harriet
Starting Member
United Kingdom
14 Posts |
Posted - 04 November 2006 : 12:32:27
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Finally found this one which I thought Brilliant and cribbed it off another forum(then lost it!):
Gerta, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's
morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business.
Several members did not approve of her nasty habit, but feared her enough
to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused Henry, a new member, of
being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the
town's only bar one afternoon.
She emphatically told Henry, and several others, that everyone seeing it
there knew what he was doing, and what his problem was.
Henry, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and
walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny. He said nothing.
Later that evening, Henry quietly parked his pickup in front of Gerta's
house, walked home and left it there all night.
Harriet
Finally got one, yippee! |
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The Woodman
New Member
United Kingdom
98 Posts |
Posted - 05 November 2006 : 04:01:13
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| Ha ha Harriet......That'll teach Gerta ! |
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Sculptured Box
Starting Member
Australia
22 Posts |
Posted - 07 November 2006 : 04:24:08
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Bella was terribly upset. Her fiance, Marvin, had been to a
clinical psychologist, and the results were not entirely
consoling.
She said to her mother, "I'm not sure the marriage would be
happy, Ma. The psychologist says Marvin tests out to have a
pronounced Oedipus complex."
Her mother shrugged and said, "Don't listen to that fancy
talk. I've watched Marvin and I tell you he's all right.
Just look how much he loves his mother."
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The Woodman
New Member
United Kingdom
98 Posts |
Posted - 07 November 2006 : 17:59:47
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Oedipus complex
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
The Oedipus complex or Oedipus conflict is a concept developed by Sigmund Freud to explain the origin of certain neuroses in childhood. It is defined as a male child's unconscious desire for the exclusive love of his mother. This desire includes jealousy towards the father and the unconscious wish for that parent's death. Later researchers used the term Electra complex for the same phenomenon in girls towards their father. |
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Sculptured Box
Starting Member
Australia
22 Posts |
Posted - 12 December 2006 : 04:27:13
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I trust these will be received with the right spirit?
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Q. What is the height of optimism?
A. An English batsman applying sunscreen.
Q. What does Ashley Giles put in his hands to make sure the
next ball almost always takes a wicket?
A. A bat.
Q. What is the English version of a hat-trick?
A. Three runs in three balls.
Q. Who has the easiest job in the English squad?
A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.
Q. Why is Andrew Flintoff the unluckiest English player?
A. Because he was born in England.
Q. What does "Ashes" stand for?
A. Another Sad Horrific English Series.
Q. Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone in the
English team?
A. The person who ironed the cricket whites.
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The Woodman
New Member
United Kingdom
98 Posts |
Posted - 24 December 2006 : 19:57:05
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Of course we English have a great sense of humour Sculptured Box so here's one for you........
An Englishman was in need of emergency brain surgery and the surgeon warned his family that it was a high risk operation.
As they had no choice, the family gave the ok and the surgeon carried out the operation.
After the op the surgeon informed the family that brain damage had unavoidably occurred and that the man would be like a cabbage and might not even wake up.
With that, the patient started coming round and his eyes opened to the delight of the surgeon and the patients family.
The surgeon asked the patient how he felt to which the patient replied "G'day cobber, I'm fair dinkum mate" ! |
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Jokes
